Hi Everyone,
But if you want to know what really went down with Five Dollar Footlongs, I’ll tell you right now.
First, the management at my Subway franchise was horrible. They had no idea what they were doing. Jordan Ramsey was the saddest excuse for a night manager I had ever seen. He was always harping on about mopping the floors and making sure the bathrooms were stocked with plenty of paper towels, and trying to blame things on me. When I took this job I was under the impression that I'd be able to express myself and put a bit of my personality into the sandwiches... not clean floors for the next shift.
My own boss, who will not be named, again and again would tell us that Jared wanted to push Five Dollar Footlongs. "This new Jared promotion is going to be huge" and "you're a valuable member of the team" was all I would hear. Jared said jump, my boss said "how high? and can we get a banner to hang in the window?"
I'll be honest: I have never met Jared. In the three months I've worked at Subway, he has never once set foot in the store. We had a joke about when Jared's next weekly vacation would be. (Answer? We don't know, because we've never met him!). All these Subway commercials I had seen deified Jared, made the position of a Sandwich Artist look like a dream job. But Jared couldn't even be bothered to show up and give us a pep talk when it was raining.
I would ask my boss when Jared would be coming in, and he would just give me a bewildered look or maybe an awkward laugh. What a tool. It became more and more obvious that Jared didn't care about us, and he just wanted us to compromise and make the sandwiches that our customers asked for.
And Five Dollar Footlongs? Don’t make me laugh. They’ve spent more money on that advertising campaign than M Night Shyamalan spent on Avatar: The Last Airbender. Shit you not. More than $ 1 million! Can you believe that?
The final straw came when I was making a buffalo chicken sub and tried to express myself a little by putting pickles in it. The customer, fist in palm, told us how “BUFFALO CHICKEN SUBS should never have pickles! There should be no pickles, this is a BUFFALO CHICKEN SUB!” So brilliant. BRILLIANT. Order a sub straight off the menu, but leave out pickles... the one place where Sandwich Artists really get to express ourselves.
FU, dude. I didn't spend two years at the University of Arizona to be told that I have to deny the very fabric of my being: my artistic expression.
Five Dollar Footlongs will be one of the greatest failures in the history of sandwich promotions. Probably at the level of the Double Down. We all know it too ……
I say it anonymously so I can keep my next few paychecks coming.
